mollyp25

Last Semester of undergrad...wowzers.

2010-01-06T21:57:56Z

Sooo.....tomorrow I start my student teaching and my last semester as an undergrad. In ways it has flown by and in others I look back and see how much has changed. Right now I'm both excited and nervous for student teaching. It's definitely going to be a learning process, but I hope that I can learn from the students as much as they can learn from me. My biggest fear is that something will get out of control or I won't know how to answer a question and I'll just break down in tears and run out of the room. Let's hope it doesn't come to that though! I just read Andre Agassi's autobiography and it was actually really encouraging. He talks a lot about not having to be a perfectionist and just being happy to give back. I think that will be one thing that I need to focus on over the semester.

Christmas break came and went way faster than I would have liked. It started with saying goodbye (again) to one of my best friends who moved back to California. Then was Christmas, which was really awesome to be at home and spend time with family. The day after Christmas, the family loaded up and headed to Shreveport for the Georgia bowl game. We stayed in a casino which was an adventure and the whole time was really fun!

After that came New Year's. One of my goals was to submit my first round of grad school applications before the new year...and I turned them in on Dec. 31. I count that as a win. :) Hopefully I will start hearing back from schools by mid-March. I came to Athens to celebrate New Year's this year which was a first since I've been a student here. It was fun because just about everybody came out for it. Even though it was ridiculously crowded good times were had by all. Over the break I also contacted the Peach Belt Conference about working for them this summer. They said that they probably wouldn't have any paid positions, but the person I contacted was super friendly and welcomed me to bounce grad school and career ideas off of him.

A few days ago I got a nice surprise before heading back to school. One of my friends was in Atlanta at a Christian conference and I got to go down and see him which was great. The message we heard was really powerful and gave me a lot to contemplate. I really need to get into more Bible study. I've felt very complacent all through college and I need to get the spark started again. And I've realized that I can't just wait on God to get me excited. I need to be pursuing him.

So that's a quick update. Long winded as usual. Student teaching here I come!!

Midpoint

2009-10-21T21:54:48Z

Well, tomorrow is officially the midpoint of the semester (as defined by UGA, not the actual midpoint...how much sense does that make?) so I figured now would be a good time to give an update on how my goals are shaping up.

1. Graduate with a 3.9. Don't have much to say on this one. Classes are going well right now. I had enrolled in one class as an elective that I thought I needed to get an easy A. I did well on the first test and not so well on the second test. Come to find out, the course was just an excess credit and didn't apply to my degree at all. Therefore, rather than worry about having to make As on the rest of the tests in order to get an A in the class (and thus, keep my GPA above a 3.9), I decided to withdraw from the class. I've never withdrawn from a class before and it's actually quite liberating. Now no classes on Thursday or Friday! Yay! But hopefully I'll make As in the rest of my classes!

2. GRE testing...this one hits very close to home today!! I took the GRE last month and did well on the math but not so hot on the verbal. Therefore, I signed up to take the test again. The semester became very busy, leaving little time to study for the verbal section. Last night, I sat down for about three hours and tried to study vocab, but it just wasn't really working. I retook the GRE this morning....and I improved my verbal score by 110 points!! Who knew?! Even though I didn't reach my secret goal, I was only 20 points off. I think with my GPA, GRE scores, and awesome statement of purpose and letters of recommendation that have yet to be written, that I'll be fairly competitive at my top choice schools. Keep your fingers crossed, could be exciting!

3. Stay calm second semester and student teaching. That's in the future, so why worry, right! God has taken care of me in the past so why should I doubt that he will in the future! On a more technical note, I'm observing this semester in a middle school class at a school in Athens. I like it so much more than I thought I would, and have requested to stay there to do my student teaching. (Doesn't hurt that the school is only 5 minutes from my apartment, either!) One kind of interesting/flattering thing. I was contacted about interviewing for Teach for America yesterday. I've never really been called to do it, but it was very flattering to be sought out and asked for an interview. :) Talk about a life-changing experience...maybe I should think about it some more?

4. Fun during football season and the fall. This one is interesting. I've definitely loved being able to attend the football games this year as a fan and not a worker. However, our football team has been in shambles, which is not so fun. :( Also, for some reason I thought I'd be going out all of the time, but I haven't been going out hardly at all, which I guess isn't necessarily a good or bad thing, just different. I have been having a fun semester though. Perhaps the football season will turn around for the best! I'm going to Florida and then there are a lot of games at home. Hopefully we'll at least win 6...Christmas break without a bowl game doesn't have a good ring to it.

5. Meet new people and try new things. This one is probably where I'm falling down on the job the most. As far as meeting new people, I'm really enjoying my major classes. We're with the same group of people for three hours on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, so we get to know each other pretty well. People can surprise you when you really get to know them. Outside of my major though, I haven't really met that many people or tried new things...there's still time left though! Oh yeah, I have tried some new volunteer things through Gamma Sig that have been pretty fun!
5a. Go on a date. Well....that one was looking more promising towards the beginning of the semester. I did go out with one guy that I kind of dated freshman year, but the spark still wasn't there. The dating scene is still looking pretty dry....there's still time left though!! ha. Perhaps I need to be more outgoing or something? Who knows. Maybe set shorter-term goals...such as get a date for Fall Ball! Should be plenty of guys jumping for a chance to go.

6. Solid 2-5 year plan. Now that I have a pretty satisfactory GRE score, I'm pretty set on going to grad school next year. Out-of-state means out of comfort zone, but I think now is a good a time as any to do it. I just need to see where I'll get in. After that, I want to work on finding a job that fuses my love of athletics with my love for students and education. NCAA here I come?!?! :)

As usual, this turned into a way longer post than it should be. Gotta hit the shower to get ready for our Grease-themed Bowling for Babies fundraiser for March of Dimes! Did I mention I'm an excellent bowler?

Oh yeah, saw Third Eye Blind in concert the other night. Wow. Simply stunning. :)

Goals

2009-07-03T05:23:43Z

I sometimes like to ask really random questions and I asked one of my friends today what her goals were for our last year of college. She said she'd have to get back to me on that one. It got me to thinking about some of the goals that I need to set for myself. So I might as well write them down so that I'll be held accountable somewhere. :)

1. Graduate with a 3.9.

2. Take the GRE in the fall and achieve a perfect score. ...NOT! This one is tricky. I think the way I'm going to word it is that I want to make a good enough score so that I can get into a school where I'll be happy. (wish me luck!) I believe I could be happy at a few schools with differing entrance requirements, so hopefully it will work out for the best. I've looked at a few schools in North Carolina and Kentucky, so a change of scenery may be in order.

3. Stay calm second semester and don't be too intimidated by student teaching. Right now I'm pretty much terrified of the experience. I feel like my major is just a means to an end. I just kind of picked something that I was interested in and that I knew I would enjoy the classes that would get me through to graduation. The student teaching part was so far off that I didn't really think about the fact that I'll have a real job teaching real students in the spring. Whoa.

4. Have fun and enjoy football season and the fall. Since spring will be devoted to student teaching and I'll basically have no life, I need to relax and enjoy my last football season as a student. All work and no play makes Molly a dull girl. (I must always refer to goal #1 when deciding exactly how much fun to have though!)

5. Try to meet new people and be more open to new things. College has been great and I've met a lot of new people, but I'm still kind of in my own little bubble. I would love to be more involved and meet some new people. And maybe enjoy parts of Athens that I've never enjoyed before.
(5a. Go on a date. yeah!)

6. Get a solid plan about the next 2-5 years of my life. I need to pray and decide whether to go straight to grad school or to teach first and see where that takes me. What I end up doing could have great consequences on where I end up 10 years down the road and what I'll be doing. Scary stuff but it's finally time to start making things happen.

Alrighty, I think that's a good start for now. Tomorrow is the 3rd of July so that means the family is headed down to Atlanta for the Peachtree Road Race. I love family traditions!

P.S. Quick update on the summer. I finally started a job. Thank goodness. I've gotten to travel a pretty good bit, most recently to Miami to visit a friend. That was a good time. Next up is Chicago. Sould be interesting. Hopefully the rest of the summer goes smoothly. I can't believe there's only a little over a month left!

Sweet Summer Show

2009-06-13T05:00:14Z

Tonight, I went to a pretty sweet summer concert. It validated some of the things I've been thinking about.

1) If you don't pursue something that you want, you're probably not going to get it. I realized that I'm not really a "pursuer." I've always figured that if relationships or certain situations haven't presented themselves to me, then it probably just isn't meant to be. I usually just wait for things to just drop in my lap and figure out how they're supposed to fit in my life. However, this might be the wrong attitude. If I want something, then I need to go and pursue it, even if I might get shut down. Being afraid of failure is not a sufficient reason to miss out on something that might be great.

2) The hardest part of giving up is not knowing when you're done. Ok, I stole that from some lyrics but I really think it makes sense. When do you decide that what you're going after isn't going to work out? Or that what you're going after has already chosen a different path that you're not ever going to fit into. Or, that even though you've worked really hard on making something work out, that it's just not meant to be. Nobody wants to give up on something that they've put a lot of effort into, but sometimes that's just the easiest way. Sometimes I think this is why people have a midlife crisis. They've worked so hard at making a career, marriage, or situation work out that was never really what made them happy in the first place. How can you avoid what initally makes you happy though?

3) Being surrounded by lovely, loving couples doesn't make you feel content. This one is straight from tonight. Nine times out of ten I could care less if there are a bunch of happy couples all around me. I've been single for about 99.9% of my life and I'm comfortable in my own skin, and I think I've turned out ok so far. However, there are those times, like tonight, when I feel just so completely lonely. For instance, the concert I went to was awesome, and putting my arm around somebody or squeezing their hand at certain sweet parts during a song would've been nice. Everybody around me was doing it so of course I felt a little left out. What's wrong with wanting to come back home to somebody that you can snuggle up with and just talk to about nothing in particular?

4) There's a certain lyric that I heard tonight that I can't quite remember, but it had something to do with letting go of memories that break your heart. Sounds like a good plan to me, but way easier said than done. Who wants to let go of memories? Not me.

Alright, I think that's enough for now. My brain is hurting from all of this! haha. Tomorrow should be fun. I think I'm just going to relax in Athens for the day. :)

Good night, and may God bless.

Summer...

2009-06-11T02:04:33Z

So far this summer has been pretty relaxing. It started with a trip to Chicago for a family wedding and a side trip to Indiana to meet friends. The wedding was beautiful and amazing and I got to see parts of Chicago that I had never seen before, which was great.

A couple of weeks later the whole family got to go visit Charleston and HIlton Head. Being with family was sweet because we haven't all been together for awhile. Megan was home for two weeks and I already miss her a ton.

When we got back home, I began to realize that the job I thought that I had on lock wasn't actually going to come through. No good for me because I was banking on coming home to make some good money this summer. What this little twist has afforded me to do is to get 4 books read so far and be able to watch old episodes of The O.C. every day at 4 p.m. :) (On the books...they've all been really great. Most of them are on the New York Times Bestsellers list. My Sister's Keeper was heart-wrenching but very thought-provoking. The Devil in the White City was awesome, a little Chicago architecture mixed in with the storyline of a serial killer. A Long Way Gone makes me want to go to Africa and try to help the child soldiers who have been stripped of thier childhoods. And Marley & Me is helping me to conquer my fear of dogs. ;) )

Also, Mom has been introducing me to people who are in careers that I'm interested in. (College admissions and administration) Through some of these meetings, I realized that a lot of people either have or are pursuing their Masters in Public Administration (MPA). I think this would be a great degree for me because it's very broad and could help me go into any of the fields that I'm interested in. (College admissions, geography non-profit, college athletics) I found out that Georgia has a top-3 MPA program in the nation, which will make it hard for me to branch out and try to move away from home for a little while and see who I really am. :) I guess not getting accepted to Georgia would make that a little easier though. Right now I think I want to apply around the Southeast, maybe at UVA to be close to Megan, and then perhaps some random places outside of the South where I'd really be out of my element. That could be exciting! The first step though is to do well on the GRE, so I've ordered my huge Princeton Review study book, and will be taking the exam in the fall. Not the best test taker, so keep your fingers crossed!

Side note, I'm taking this group exercise boot camp class that is really awesome and I'm loving being able to work out a lot this summer. Another side note, So You Think You Can Dance is the best summer show out there. These dancers are so talented!

To sum everything up, so far this summer I think will be about studying for the GRE and traveling around. Places I will be visiting this summer that are still to come...(hopefully Milledgeville to vist Kathy-Rex), Miami to visit Carolyne next week. Atlanta for the Peachtree on the 4th, and then again on the 11th and 12th for Stephen's birthday extravaganza, Chicago in the middle of July, Virginia to help Megan move at the end of July. Then back to Athens at the beginning of August to get back in the groove! (I miss Athens and my sweet bed.)

Wow, guess I had a lot of stuff to update on. Although this summer hasn't really turned out how I had it planned, I stil think some cool stuff can come out of it. Since I haven't had a job, it's given me some time to think about stuff and go through things in my head. Which is good. Not saying I'm getting far with these thoughts, but it's a start. :) I think I have a few things I want to iron out before the summer is over. Wish me luck.

P.S. The screened-in porch and deck that we're adding onto our house is coming along quite well. I think it's gonna be awesome when it's done. Hopefully it'll be done before the end of the summer when I have to go back to Athens.

Easter

2009-04-13T03:32:28Z

So Lent turned out pretty well. I didn't meet all of my goals but I'm not too upset about it. The Easter service back home was awesome. The whole church was there and it was great to see everybody! The sermon was about the proof that Jesus rose is that He still lives in us today and does amazing things through people, which I thought was pretty dead on.

We're in the home stretch of this semester. Two and a half weeks of school and then finals. I can't believe this year is almost over! It's flown by. And it's been the best year of college so far so I'm definitely looking forward to next year. I'm nervous about student teaching next spring though...should be interesting.

I'm nervous about this summer too. I'm gonna go on a few pretty sweet trips (Chicago, Hilton Head, and Miami) but I still haven't nailed down a job. Hopefully I'll hear back from a school I e-mailed in Charlottesville tomorrow. It'd be awesome to live with Megan for a little while but it's hard to interview for jobs when you're 8 hours away. There's a possibility that I could work for the North Georgia Athletic Department and that could be pretty fun, but I kinda want to live somewhere else this summer. We'll see. Mom really wants me to come back home. She's hard to argue with.

Easter is a time for new beginnings. We'll see if that means anything exciting for me. All in all, things are pretty good. :)

LENT!

2009-02-26T03:34:21Z

So Lent started today and I'm actually pretty excited about it! Should be a good refresher to spend some time with God while going through a little self-sacrifice, which never hurt anybody. I went to an Ash Wednesday service tonight that was really good. The pastor talked about how God finds worth in all of us even though we are flawed. A girl from one of my classes was there and she seems pretty cool. We might go visit a bible study at some point.

I don't have any idea about what to do this summer! My sister wants me to come live with her in Virginia and that would be really fun...but there are just so many options! I want to be near my friends as well, and I want to be where God wants me. Decisions, decisions.

Speaking of decisions, I realized tonight that I ask a million questions about just about everything. Besides being a curious person in general, I'm also a planner/worrier so I have to know every single detail about everything pretty far ahead of time. I guess I don't really have to know, but I just like to make plans. Even though it's not a bad thing, I might try to back off on being so detail oriented and just go with the flow more often. Could be exciting but old habits are hard to break. We'll see.

Good times...

2009-02-16T04:31:23Z

All in all, I'm pretty happy right now. The semester is shaping up nicely and my classes are pretty interesting. I talked to a friend who is in his third year of teaching math, and he loves it! He was very excited that I want to teach and said that it's the most rewarding thing a person can do. I don't know about that, but he was pretty convincing. I have a great family who supports me and lets me make my own decisions. My friends are awesome and I can't imagine what college would've been like if we hadn't all gone to the same school. I was thinking today about my friends from when I lived in South Carolina, and they were a crucial part to shaping who I am today. Even though we were pretty young, they taught me how to appreciate the simpler things in life and how to stand up for myself. One of those friends just had a baby and I wish her the best!

On a side note, my spring break plans recently got shut down so now I don't know what I'm going to do. I didn't go anywhere last year so I definitely want to get away this year. I might just find a friend and road trip it to the beach or to see Stephen.

I've had a super lazy day and now I'm tired...so now I'm going to sleep. :)

The most emo I can manage...and I'm losing...

2009-02-07T07:23:24Z

"A storm is coming, but I don't mind. People are dying, I close my blinds. All that I know is I'm breathing, now.
I want to change the world, instead I sleep. I want to believe in more than you and me. All that i know is I'm breathing...all i can do is keep breathing. All we can do is keep breathing now."

Something's missing...

2009-02-06T04:55:54Z

And I bet I know what it is. So I'm trying to decide if I should apply for an internship this summer at a church in Marietta. What I think it boils down to is that I'm scared. Scared that I won't be hired, scared that if I do then I'll let somebody down, scared that the students won't like me or think that I have anything valuable to offer them. But if you don't take big risks then you can't get big return, right? It's just hard to decided what I want to do with my summer. I can definitely come up with excuses for why I shouldn't apply for the internship, but part of me just tells me that it might be a good growing experience for me.

And then I go to read a devotional and the one for today is:
"Are you willing to sacrifice yourself for the work of another believer - to pour out your life sacrificially for the ministry and faith of others? Or, do you say, "I am not willing to be poured out right now, and I don't want God to tell me how to serve Him. I want to choose the place of my own sacrifice. And I want to have certain people watching me and saying, 'well done.'"

I hate it when it feels like they're talking directly to you... was that a coincidence or a sign? And then it suggests for you to ask God to pour you out as an offering. I do want to be ready to be poured out, but it's scary.

So I think I'm going to sleep on it. The application is due March 15...we'll see what some praying can do between now and then. I mean worst thing that could happen is I apply and then tell them no.

Let's get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants...

2009-01-13T04:00:01Z

Even though a new semester just started, I've been feeling really blessed lately. Life is good. I'm surrounded by a wonderful family, great friends, and good classes. Also, God sat in the car with me on the way to Helen the other day, He didn't say much, but He didn't really have to....I know that sounds really weird but I felt his presence like nothing else. For some reason lately I've felt like some kind of pressure has been taken off of me. I can't really put my finger on it.

My computer is going to crash soon, that's no fun but that means a new toy for me!

This semester might be pretty tough with classes and being on exec for Gamma Sig, but hopefully I'm up for the challenge. Even though I can't really change my major now I still have no idea what I want to do when I grow up except be happy and make other people happy. Cliche I know but I don't care. :)

Speaking of growing up, the real world is getting closer every day and that's kind of scary, but exciting at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I should've already had some key life experiences by now that I've missed out on. Maybe they're just waiting for me though.

I have much more rambling to do but my sweet, warm bed is calling, along with some pages of Twilight to read. (Hint: my two new guilty pleasures...Snood and Twilight!)

The Holidays are Here!!

2008-11-17T01:58:26Z

Well, technically they'll be here next Thursday on Thanksgiving, but since I watched the original 1966 cartoon of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" tonight I believe the holiday season has officially started for me. Yay. : ) I'm sure good times are to come. My sweet sister isn't coming home for Thanksgiving, but I guess I can forgive her. I also love the cold weather. I forgot how much fun dressing warm can be! Hopefully we'll get some snow this year!!! Or maybe even a white Christmas....now that'd be exciting!

Halloween!

2008-11-02T18:56:52Z

I forgot how fun Halloween can be. I went to some fun parties this year and got to catch up with some people who I hadn't seen since I graduated from high school. Not much has changed but at the same time everything has.

Speaking of change, the leaves are changing and they're gorgeous! I went on a little hike with Mom on Friday and I could've stayed out there for at least 3 more hours and just looked out at the mountains.

But now it's back to school and lots of hard work for three weeks...and then I get a week off for Thanksgiving!! I can't wait. A trip up to Indiana and a week with the family, doesn't get much better! lol...except for the fact that my sister says she's not coming home for Thanksgiving...maybe we'll just have to go up there and surprise her.

More randomness

2008-09-26T00:48:49Z

Hola! It's been a little while but that's just how crazy busy I've been. School is picking up quite a bit. My geography of Latin America class is turning into a lot of work and I've been procrastinating so I'm a little stressed out about that. Otherwise my classes are good. Still really interesting. My human rights class that I was worried about has been awesome. (We haven't had a test yet though, so all this might change.) But really, the stuff we talk about in there is so crazy. The US has been involved in some not so nice situations. I don't like to think about it.

Things at work are pretty awesome. I kind of got a "promotion" the other day which was nice. One of my bosses showed me how to upload press releases directly to the website so that I don't have to go through a full-timer to post my stuff. So that was pretty cool. I've been writing a lot lately so it's quite an honor. :) Also, I had a great idea the other day at work. How cool would it be to search for yourself so many times that you're in the top ten searches of the day on Yahoo!?? I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I think it'd be pretty cool. Another revelation at work....people come into our office ALL the time asking for directions, which gets a little old. So, after two years of putting up with it, I had the idea the other day to just post some directions to the most frequently asked places, and put it outside our door. My boss laughed at me but said I could put it up...and so far it's working! Yes!!

GameDay will be in here on Saturday. I'm pretty stoked about it. I even had a dream last night that I was on there. Although none of the fans showed up and the hosts were really rude to me....Corso picked us to win though so I was still excited. Saturday's game is gonna be crazy. I'm nervous though; Saban usually has his act together.

Grey's Anatomy starts tonight!! Yeah!! Hot doctors and crazy hospital drama. And two hours to not have to think about anything. What's not to love?

On a side note, I've been in a rut lately. Something just feels like it's missing and I have no idea what it is. (Well maybe I could guess a few things but that takes too much thought and there's nothing I can do about it.) It's weird, I hang out with my friends and stuff and have fun, but when I crawl in bed every night I still don't feel whole. Which is not a cool feeling.

Oh yeah, uno mas thing. My knee hurts like crazy everytime I work out. I've been complaining about it for like a year so perhaps it's time for me to get it checked out. When I stretch my knees out I can hear something grinding around in there....hmmm......

Happy Birthday to my sister tomorrow!! The big 2-3! I can't believe we're both over 21 now.

"Kiss Me...

2008-09-03T02:40:52Z

...beneath the milky twilight. Lead me out on the moonlit floor..." Never doubt the power of some awesome '90s music on a lonely night! Especially when iTunes is on shuffle and you least expect one to pop up. Yay. = )

Pure Satisfaction

2008-08-31T15:57:14Z

The satisfaction of hearing your football team being introduced as the "Number one ranked team in the nation" is unlike any other. I don't know how long it will last, but I definitely won't forget how the crowd in Sanford Stadium erupted when we took the field as the number one team in the country! It was a big day for us in other ways too. Since Uga VI (UGA's most winningest mascot) passed away this fall, his son, Uga VII, started his reign as Georgia's mascot yesterday before the game. I think he was a little overwhelmed by the attention and the weather, because he kinda hid in his air-conditioned dog house throughout most of the game. I don't blame him though...it was so hot and humid!! I could see people in the stands passing out right and left....alcohol and 90 degree temperatures apparently don't mix well.

My sister was at the Virginia/USC game which I'm sure was exciting (despite the fact that Virginia got killed.) I want to try to go to more football games around the country to see what it's like outside of the South. I know we kinda do things a little bit differently down here.

Yesterday night I attended the most random party of my life. People I hadn't seen or thought about since high school. I wish people would realize that there's more to life than just getting by and living for the alcohol and pot on the weekends. It was kinda sad to see these people, becuase I know they're capable of doing more. And maybe I'm just ignorant, but I just don't see how they can be happy with where they've gotten in life....wow, I hope that's not too judgmental because I truly don't mean for it to be.

I'm so glad we don't have school tomorrow!! I need a chance to catch up on some sleep. Go Dawgs!!
And I'm upset about Gustav, I really hope it doesn't hit New Orleans. How much more can they take??

21? That can't be right...

2008-08-25T02:47:40Z

So, I'll be 21 in approximately one hour and forty minutes. Crazy! I definitely don't feel like I should be able to legally drink already, lol. But seriously, 21 is a great milestone!! Haha. Too bad it's a Sunday night. Tomorrow it's dinner with the clan and hopefully some sweet mixed drinks! I wish I could celebrate with my big sis.

This morning I attended an amazing church service. We were talking about how at some points, we "hit a wall" with our spirituality, or in some aspect of our lives. I realized that that pretty accurately describes the way I've felt off and on for about the past two years. I've hit walls with my spiritual growth, with deciding what I want to do when I "grow up," and with relationships. College is supposed to be the time when you really "find yourself," and I feel like I'm the same person today that I was when I walked off the stage at my high school graduation two years ago. Maybe I'm just expecting too much and I need to just wait things out. I know God's timing is perfect, and that patience is a virtue, but how can I not get discouraged when I feel like I'm doing the "right" things to help me grow in certain aspects of my life, but see no results? I don't think I'm in a rut, I just feel like I've hit a wall that I can't break through. And surely what's on the other side is going to be amazing.

At the end of the service, members of the prayer team set up a prayer tunnel that the congregation could walk through. I had never done that before, but there's something special about people praying over you who have no idea your situation, but still seem to say the right things.

One part of me says that there are some things in my life that I need to let go of. That can't be fun. As much as I want to hang on, I don't know how much longer I can. Sometimes I feel like I'm just putting up a strong front for people. They think I'm this level-headed person who knows what she wants in life and is a great leader. But I don't feel like I've ever done anything that important. Or at least not anything that any other person wouldn't have done in my same situation.

Yesterday at my cousin's bridal shower, we played a sweet game. We made a wedding dress out of toilet paper, and my team won thanks to our glorious design and my marvelous modeling skills. It made me happy. And there were chocolate-covered oreos, which are pretty much the best things ever.

Ok, only an hour and fifteen minutes now. Hopefully my 21st year will bring some sweet surprises and some broken down walls. I might even wish for something different when I blow out my birthday candles this year. If only those wishes ever came true...

Not much of a journal-er...

2008-08-22T03:33:06Z

So, number one thing I've learned this week, drum roll please....not everybody believes what I believe!!! Whoa, deep thought. I've always known deep down that not everybody believes in God, but I guess I just thought all of those people were posers who were just mis-guided, not people who actually chose not to believe. Sometimes Christians do way more detrimental things to people than beneficial things, without even realizing it. Why do people have to be fake? My friend said that one of the biggest turn-offs to Christians that she has is their being judgmental. I feel like it's my job to go around and try to fix people's bad images of what a Christian is and let them know that we're not all the same. I know that's virtually impossible, and nobody wants some Christian beating them over the head with something. The only thing I can do is be a good example. So that's my goal for now....

I went to an awesome worship service last night and couldn't stop thinking about the Human Rights class I'm taking this semester. Everyone in there is going to be crazy liberal. I need to learn how to defend what I believe and not back down.

I realize none of this stuff is really that ground-breaking, but I think I've tried to avoid some things that I just never wanted to deal with, perhaps the time is now!

My 21st birthday and the start of football season all in the same week! Can things get any better?? Don't answer that...

Ok, ok, all of this stuff is pretty cliche. I need to go start my day. My sister just moved away. :' ( Shall I continue? I spit rhymes, what can I say? HA!